How to stop picking fights with the people you love. (OR: How to stop stressing over things that don't deserve your cortisol.)

My new favorite mantra for de-escalation.

I’ve discovered a phrase that instantly lowers my shoulders by at least two inches.

But before I share it, a little context.

There I was, stuck in downtown Boston traffic with my 19-year-old daughter, running late for our 11:30am ticket to the legendary Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum. We’d both mismanaged our morning, and now that tight feeling in my chest had set in as my mind looped on these phrases:We’re gonna miss it. We blew it.

We were on the brink of snapping at each other. (Me: You slept in too long! Her: You just had to get that extra cup of coffee!)

Instead, I took a breath. And this phrase—this magic phrase—fell out of my mouth:

“The stakes couldn’t be lower.”

She blinked. “What do you mean?”